The 10 Commandments 
of Elegant Wedding Planning
Commandment 10

Commandment 10
Be pleasant and kind. Nothing turns me off like a bride who walks into my store with a scowl on her face. It certainly doesn't give me the impetus to be overly helpful, although I try my best to be. 

Most vendors and service people try to be as affable and as helpful as possible with their wedding clients; after all, it's their livelihood. In the same vein, you should be just as pleasant when you meet with them. 

The customer has the option (and the advantage) of going elsewhere if he/she doesn't like the attitude of the vendor. However, the vendor doesn't have that latitude. He can't say to the client: "You're miserable and I'd prefer not doing business with you." Although, many times, he'd like to.

A wedding vendor's reputation, for good or ill, spreads like wildfire in this business, but there's a flip-side to this coin. Wedding world is a small planet that's composed of a network of wedding vendors and professionals; they talk often, and many times, share the same clients. For that reason, don't ever think that your attitude and deeds are above scrutiny or notice. The vendors I work with appreciate kind, caring customers, and will break their back to please them. But a client's bad deeds or attitude may not go without retribution. Let me give you some examples. 

Recently, the photographer I work with called to thank me for referring a bride, who was so pleasant and kind, he felt it deserved a call. I agreed, she was the same with me. Because this woman has been so considerate, I know that both of us (and the other vendors she hires) will do their best to give her exemplary service. We will make her feel like a princess, and rightfully so. On top of it, the photographer will probably give her a free portrait and I'll give her wedding jewelry to complement her gown. Kindness is rewarded. 

On the other hand, I once worked with a young woman who had a very mean-spirited mother (who was paying the tab). The mother had money, tried to control her daughter and made her life miserable. She made her cry every time she was in my store. 

My friend, the catering director at the country club where the reception was being held, said this woman was making her life unbearable. She called her twenty times a day trying to reduce the price, and was abrasive (she also didn't like the way she treated her daughter). My friend became so incensed with this woman that she charged her excessively. She made her pay for white-glove service and valet parking and cake cutting (items normally a part of the package deal), and anything else she could think of. This ugly woman, who wanted so much to pay less--paid more--and she never knew it. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Character is higher than intellect." And Henry James, when his nephew asked him what he ought to do in life, answered, "Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." Truer words were never spoken. Apply them to every aspect of your life and every facet of planning your wedding--and things may turn out, better and more economical--and more elegant--than you ever expected!

 < To Commandment 8 & 9  

This article contributed by 
DeborahMcCoy.com
from The Elegant Wedding and the Budget-Savvy Bride
(Penguin-Putnam)

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